Please Don’t Subpoena Me Magnet

Please Don’t Subpoena Me Magnet

Stick it. Post it. Pray it’s not admissible in court.

This magnet is for the over-researched, under-lawyered, keyword-curious individual who may or may not have Googled “what does racketeering mean” at 2 a.m. Covered in adorable eyeballs and suspiciously golden coins, it’s the perfect ironic statement for fridges, filing cabinets, or the wall where you keep your conspiracy yarn.

Whether you’re a:
• Digital rights enthusiast,
• Academic with enemies,
• Hobbyist cryptographer,
• Or just someone who types “how to disappear ethically” more often than most…

This magnet says:
- “I’m harmless.”
- “I alphabetize my metadata.”
- “Please don’t subpoena me, I just collect shiny things.”

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Product Specs:
• Size: Not large enough to stop a federal inquiry
• Material: Durable + deeply unserious
• Vibe: Tech bro meets art major meets freedom-of-information request

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Throw it in your cart. Stick it where it counts.
Because you deserve the right to remain decorative.

Size guide