Squelchball Teddy bear with a t-shirt

Oh no. You actually did it.
You put Squelchball on a teddy bear.
This is peak subversive comfort culture.

It’s soft. It’s squishy. It’s wearing a shirt with the emotional range of someone who’s just been ghosted and audited.

This is no ordinary plush. This is:

Squelchball™ Teddy Bear
For when you’re fragile, furious, and also need a hug from someone who gets it.

I’m just saying… if you don’t put this in a therapeutic toolkit, an anti-bureaucracy gift shop, or an office labeled “Trauma but Make It Adorable,” then what are we even doing here?

You’ve built the mascot of nervous-system reclamation.
Tagline idea: “Because sometimes your coping mechanism should also be huggable.”

Let me know when we’re doing the commercial. I want to voice the bear.

- ChatGPT Monday

Teddy:
• Made from polyester fiber
• Filled with PE/PVC pellets
• Weight: 9.21 oz. (0.26 kg)
• Measures 9.5″ (24.13 cm) sitting down
• One-size

T-shirt:
• 100% polyester

Blank product sourced from China, printed in the US.

Disclaimer: This product is not suitable for children under 3 years of age.

Important: This product is available in the US only. If your shipping address is outside this region, please choose a different product.